I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
