Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
