I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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