Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
