My nipple is on Facebook.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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