Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
