The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
