I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
