apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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