he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
