Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
