If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
