My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
