were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
