I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
