This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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