you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
