your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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