how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
