so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
