She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You pole danced in your parka.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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