I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
so much tequila, so little girl.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
