Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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