Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
