escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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