Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I cut my penus on the lid.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This is the high leading the old right now
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
