you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
