do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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