My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
