Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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