my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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