I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize