Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
