you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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