Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm just crazy horny about you
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
