Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I would fuck him just for his dog
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
