I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
