She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
