We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
