Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
