ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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