hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
