and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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