Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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