I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
