so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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