I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
