Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
