he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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