went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
