Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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