remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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