my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
