so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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