drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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